Can this be real?
by engele-om-ons
Summary: Hermione reflects back to the day her life changed. The day she fell in love with Harry Potter.
1. Prologue

**Can this be real?**

**Prologue**

I cannot get myself to believe that this is real. How can this fantastic guy be mine?

After all these years I still have to pinch myself.

When he whispers in my ear, I wonder.

When he holds my hand, I wonder.

When his lips touch my mine, I wonder.

I wonder if this is real.

Is being happily married to your best friend the real deal or am I still stuck in some teenage dream?

And for this to be real, I will have to go back to the day that my life changed, the day I fell in love with Harry Potter.

**A/N: I am only going to say this once, so this disclaimer is valid for any chapter in this story. I do not own any of the characters, I am not JKR, I do not make any money from this story, etc.**

**This is not canon, but I am sure it could have been a possibility. Characters is not OOC. It is also not based on any specific book, but will refer to them all at some point.**

**I am open for comment, but please keep it clean. Your suggestions is also welcome.**

**Oh, and before I forget. Not all chapters will be short. Some will be longer than others.**

**I am trying to use grammar check software as English is not my first language, so I do hope it works.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Can this be real?**

**Chapter 1**

Learning back against the tree, I stare at the black lake. The moon is smiling down at me, illuminating the giant squid as he is playing hide and seek.

Another year has just begun, and already I feel so tired. Ron and Harry are my best friends, but I feel that something is different this year. We are growing up, leaving our childhood behind us, and it is scary. I do not want things to change.

With a heavy sigh, I sit down on the grass. I do wish I can talk to somebody about this mixed feelings I am having. Ron just starting dating Lavender and I couldn't be happier for him, but at the same time I want to scratch her eyes out. Ron deserves happiness, but is Ron, and I not destined for each other? Everyone always assumes that we will end up together, and I think I finally came to believe that it is true. However, if I really believe that, why am I having this ache in my belly every time I see Harry looking with Love-Struck eyes at Ginny? Ginny is perfect for him. Or is it just my insecurities peeking out? For the first time since we started at Hogwarts, The Golden Trio will not spend all our time together, and perhaps I am feeling a bit lonely.

When I was younger, my mother used to tell me to close my eyes and imagine my future. And when I did, I saw a happy family with lots of kids playing in a big yard. The house was a Victorian style Double Storey with fruit trees in the back yard. The man never had a face but a feeling of peace and happiness always washed over me, and all my worries seemed to wash away.

Closing my eyes now, I try again to visualize my future. The house is the same. I can see kids playing in the yard, and there I see my husband. I try to zoom in on him, pulling him closer to my visual eyes. Every time, he tries to walk towards me but something blocks his way, forcing him a few step back wards. I try to move forward, to him, reaching my arms forward to pull him closer, but he is too far away.

"Hermione"

It's the first time he is calling me and his voice sounds so familiar. I want to shout out that he must come closer, but my voice is mute. Why can he call me, but I cannot answer back?

"Hermione, can you hear me? You have to wake up"

Why does he want me to wake up? I am not sleeping. If he just talks a bit more I am sure I will recognize his voice. I know that I know who this man is. However, I have to know. Even so, how do I keep him talking when I cannot talk?

I try to move forward again but this time I can feel the resistance. Something is defiantly holding me back. I try again.

"Hermione, please wake up. You have to open your eyes."

How can he tell me to open my eyes? This is not real is it? The word struck a chord with me - Real. That's it. It feels real. The hands on my shoulders, lightly shaking me feels very real. He is here. He came for me and suddenly my eyes pop open. My heart caught in my throat. Can this be real?

"Harry"

**A/N: Thank you to every one who want to watch this story unfold. This is my first fan-fic that is not a one-shot so feel free to give constructive feedback. Obviously I have my story sort of planned out, but nothing set in stone. **


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

**Thank you again for all the follows and for my 2 reviews. I need more please! R&R always welcome. I can take the not so good one's as well. It will help me, promise.**

**Been a bit busy at work, but will upload next chapter in the next few days. **

**:)**

**Can this be real?**

**Chapter 2**

O no no no no no no. This cannot be. How could I have been so obtuse? Harry is like a brother to me, isn't he? This is just too much to handlenow. Just because I think Harry is the same man as my dream husband, does not make him my future husband. I will have to go to the library as soon as possible. Perhaps I can find a book about premonition or something similar.

Harry, however, waved his hand in front of my face again, seeking my attention now that I am lucid again, according to him in any case.

"Yes, Harry. Now that you have disrupted my slumber, what can I do for you?"

Sarcasm and verbal attack is always my favorite way to retaliate when I am feeling insecure.

"Em, Ron was looking for you earlier and we came looking for you. Why are you here so late? If Filch finds you out on the grounds, you will probably spend the rest of the year with Snape in detention."

"I just needed some time to myself? Why was Ron looking for me?"

A moment passed while Harry looked at me with those probing green eyes of his. He can always see deeper than most.

"Are you alright, Hermione?"

No, I am not alright. I think, perhaps I am falling for my best friend while he is dating another girl who is so much more suited to him than me, while also having conflicting feelings for my other friend who is also dating another girl. But, that is not what Harry wants to hear now.

"Yes, I am perfectly fine, thank you. Let's get back to the dormitory. You still did not answer my question earlier. Why was Ron looking for me?"

"He just, em, wanted you to help him with something." The faint blush tells me everything I need to know.

"What you mean to say, is that Ron did not do his Transfiguration Essay, and want me to finish it for him? Honestly, when will you boys learn? Professor McGonagall gave that Essay two weeks ago!"

"I know, Hermione. But with Quidditch practice, and detention with Snape last week, we just never got around to it. We really wanted to finish it yesterday, but, em, something came up, and we just forgot about it."

"Oh Harry, not you too?"

My disappointment must have shown because Harry's face turned red again. I know fully well, that they spent all their free time with their girlfriends, and for a moment I wanted to snap at Harry.

"Well, I did get a bit more done than Ron but after our last class with McGonagall, I did not want to hand in the essay without you proofreading it first. It was, well, a bit embarrassing, last time."

I couldn't help myself, I burst out laughing.

"Yes, I think it had to do with you writing that Ginny has pretty boobs instead of Fera Verto, the spell to transfigured a rat into a cup."

"That is not funny Hermione. She said, that if I hand in a similar essay again, she will owl Mrs Weasley. I will never be able to go to the Burrow again!"

We entered the common room together, laughing at the though of Mrs Weasley demanding to know, how Harry knows Ginny has pretty boobs. And suddenly I had to wonder the same thing, how does Harry know?

I saw a flash of red and the object of my thoughts came crashing into Harry. I walked to where another red-head was eagerly awaiting my arrival, my heart heavy in my chest.

After a few minutes, I completed the boy's homework for them, again reminding them to finish their homework on time and that I will not always be there to finish it for them. With this, Ron's head snapped up.

"What! Where are you going, Hermione?"

"Oh, Ronald. I am not going anywhere, but…" at this I had to pause for a bit. Why did I say that? I don't like being away from them. During the holiday's, I always count the days till I see them again.

"But?"

"You and Harry are moving on. You are both dating and, being a girl myself; they will not always like me hanging around you."

"You and Ginny are friends and you and Lav share a dorm. Of course they would not mind."

"Ron, what would you do if I started dating Seamus? Will you be happy if I drag him with us everywhere?"

"What? Since when do you fancy Seamus? Are you dating him behind our backs? How can he date you?"

And I saw red.

"How could he date me? What is wrong with dating me? Am I to ugly to date? Is it because I am a Muggle?"

Ron's mouth was hanging open, his face matching his hair, but I was not finish yet.

"Just because you do not think of me as a girl, Ronald Weasley, does not mean other boy's think of me the same! If I want to date Seamus, then I will and I do not need your permission!"

I stormed pass him to where Seamus was sitting. I pulled Seamus up and snogged him for all that I was worth. After a few minutes I could feel Seamus's wandering hands and decided to end the charade.

The first thing I saw was the look of surprise, mixed with horror on Harry's face. Ron's fist was balled by his side, fury all over his face.

"Damn, Hermione. If I knew you had it in you, I would have snogged you a long time ago."

I just glared at him.

"And that, Ronald, shows you that I am in fact a girl, with the same wants as the other girls. I am not just a silly know it all bookworm! I just wish that certain people can see that!"

And with a final look at Harry, I walked out of the room.


	4. Chapter 3

**Can this be real?**

**A/N: **Just a quick A/N to what is in store. Although Hermione & Harry do end up together, it isn't until much later that they finally get together. Until then, the teens go through their normal confused feelings. I am laying a background in the first few chapters, before fast forwarding to the end of the war.

**Chapter 3**

I wanted to go to the dormitory but decided against it, and quickly went out of the portrait hole again. If I get caught, I will just have to take the punishment like a big girl. However, at this moment, I just cannot stand facing my friends.

I sit down on some empty stairwell, along a deserted corridor. I can feel the tears falling freely over my face. I really do not understand what is happening to me. Why did I get so rallied up over the statement made by Ron, when he has saidsimilar things before?

Sometimes I really just wish that I can disappear from it all. Although I make my own choices, it sometimes weights heavy on my shoulders. I do not like letting people down, hence me doing the boy's homework for them. It is better to do it and have them smile at me, than have them sulking. What type of person does that make me?

"Hermione, where are you?"

If I keep quiet, will he leave me alone? No, this is Harry we are talking about.

"Here I am, Harry."

He sits down beside me, not saying a word for a few minutes, his shoulders touching mine. I can feel him taking a deep breath before speaking.

"What just happened in there?"

"I really do not know, Harry. I just get so mad at Ron sometimes. I know what he said is true, but still. I know better than that."

Harry turns to me, taking my hands in his.

"What do you mean, you know it is true."

"I know I am not like the other girls that the boys date. I act like a know-it-all, always correcting them, never trying to get their attention and I never dress up."

Harry chuckles.

"And that, Hermione, is why all the boys are crazy about you. You are true to yourself, what you see is what you get. With most girls, and I am no expert here, you always get a surprise. They look all sweet and quiet and then, WOOP, they shriek and become possessive, never leaving you alone for one second. You are an independent person, and I know you do not cling."

I wonder where this little speech of his is coming from.

"Thank you, Harry. Honestly though, if all of that is true, why have I never been kissed?"

I really did not want to admit that, not to Harry or Ron. Poor Hermione cannot even get a boy to kiss her.

"Yes you have. There was Krum, then Cormac and Seamus tonight."

Boys will never learn the difference, it seems.

"No, Harry. I have not been kissed. First, Krum and I are still only friends, we never kissed, second, Cormac was grabbing me all over the place but no kiss, and if you did not notice, I kissed Seamus to proof a point. I really do not count that as getting kisses"

I can see the wheels turning in his head, considering my words carefully. Contrary to popular believe, Harry does not always just jump, he really consider all possibilities and then act according to what he believes is the best way forward.

And the way forward out of this situation, is nothing what I expected.

I suddenly feel his lips on mine, softly at first, as if he is testing the waters. When I do absolutely nothing, he increases the pressure on my lips. My knees feel weak, my heart start to flutter wildly in my chest and then I felt it, his tongue between my lips, trying to get into my mouth, which in my current state of mind, I allow.

Harry Potter is kissing me! Our tongue's meet and a duel for dominance start. My hands are tangled in his hair, while I am trying to push closer to him. I can feel his hand on the exposed skin of my hip and I almost jumped out of my skin as he moves it higher, brushing the underside of my breast.

I really can not recall who pulled away first, but somehow I really doubt that it was me.

We just stare at each other until Harry suddenly laughs.

"Well, I think you can now safely say you were kissed. However, I think it would be best if you do not mention by whom."

"Of course, I do not think Ginny will be so happy with me at this moment."

"Ginny? Oh, yes of course. But I am thinking more in the line of Ron, at this moment"

Seeing the look on my face, he quickly continued.

"Come on, Hermione. Why do you think he was so upset about the idea of you dating Seamus or any other guy? He fancies you. He is dating Lavender, but it is you he dreams about at night."

Ron is dreaming about me? If I am honest about it, I don't know how I feel about it. If he fancies me, why date Lavender? And on the other hand, how do I feel about the fact that I just received a mind-boggling kiss from my best friend and he acts as if he is not affected by it at all?

"Harry, about the… about what just happened."

"Please, Hermione. Don't over analyze it. Not now. Let us not mention it again. I just started dating Ginny, and if word of this gets around…., I really cannot deal with it at this moment. Dumbledore warned me that I must focus all my energy on my lessons with him, and I promise you this, at this moment, my thoughts is not on defeating Voldemort, but on my best friend, sitting across from me. I know that my lessons are important, but I cannot think of anything else except that I really want tosnogg you again"

Hearing Harry mentioning Voldemort brings me crashing back to the reality of our situation.

"I am sorry, Harry. I didn't mean to drag you into my problems. Tell me how the lessons are going."

Being a distraction for Harry, will be a problem, Voldemort must be dealt with and Harry is the only one who can do it. People can say what they want, but Harry is defiantly the Chosen One. And, for that alone, I will make sure that I do everything in my power, to help Harry Potter defeat Voldemort, even if I have to sacrifice my happiness.


	5. Chapter 4

**Can this be real?**

**A/N: **Thx to all that follow this story. A few reviews won't hurt me, promise. Please excuse my tenses. I think the story is flowing, but then again, please let me know if you notice it to much. This chapter contains mature content ( to an extend), so please be aware. Nothing to graphic!

**Chapter 4**

In theory, it sounded easy, but we soon realized things were never going to be the same again.

Over the next few days, Ron tried to get me alone, but with my mixed feelings still raging a battle, I didn't want to speak to him as yet. What if Harry told him after all? What if he saw us? The questions went on forever and I grew more agitated. I barely ate at meal times and I could feel both Harry and Ron's worried looks.

It was in fact almost two weeks since "The Incident", as I referred to it, and I could feel myself falling into a pit of despair. Why was life so complicated? I knew Ron had feelings for me, he broke of with Lavender the morning after The Incident, and I still did not know what to do about it.

I was hiding in my regular spot in the library, when Harry pulled a chair out and sat down next to me.

"Spill it, Hermione. What's wrong?"

"Hmph, what is wrong? Let me tell you what is wrong. I think I am in love with my best friend, who is also dating one of my girl friends. He, however, cannot be bothered with me at this stage. On the other hand, I also have some feelings for my other friend, who made it clear that he want something more than friendship with me. Harry, I do not know what to do!"

Harry took my hand in his, gently rubbing my palm with his thumb. For a while neither of us spoke again until he suddenly leaned forward and kissed my open hand.

"Hermione, I think you should give Ron a chance"

Those words broke my heart even more. Being a hopeless closet romantic, I secretly hoped that Harry would not be able to stay away from me, declaring his undying love. However, here he was telling me that I should pursue a relationship with Ron.

I pulled my hand from his, keeping both firmly on my lap.

"O, I see. I understand, Harry"

I quickly stood up, but Harry grabbed my wrist, pulling me forward. The unexpected movements made me lose my balance and I fell into his lap.

"No, Hermione. I don't think you understand at all."

His hand cupped my cheek, his thumb lightly tracing over my lips, driving me insane.

"I have to fight very hard to stay away from you, to keep you safe from him. If he finds out how important you are to me…NO! I cannot let that happen. I already broke it off with Ginny."

"I understand Harry, but your logic is flawed. He already knows I am one of your best friends. He also know that you will do anything to keep your friends safe, thus being in a relationship with me, or any other girl, will not matter in the greater scheme of things. If he wants to get to you, he will attack all of us that are close to you!"

Until that moment, I have never seen Harry looking so defeated.

"And that, Hermione, is why I must go on alone from here. I cannot have you, Ron or any of the others with me. I have to make sure that all the Horcruxes are destroyed, to finish Voldemort once and for all."

I thought that he was joking; surely he didn't think he could do this all by himself? But, looking into his face, I saw that he was serious.

"Listen, Hermione, I don't know for how long I will be away, and I don't want you to wait for me. Promise me one thing though. Promise me that you will really give Ron a chance. If I do not come back…"

Harry not coming back to us? I could feel my heart breaking into pieces at the mere though of never seeing Harry. Before he could finish his sentence, I did the only thing I could, I kissed him.

This kiss was even better than our first. With a groan, Harry took over control of the kiss. His hand settled on my hips, and in a move, so sudden, that I am still not even sure if he used magic or not, he moved me so that I was straddling him. This brought us chest to chest, his hands moving over my back, down to my bottom and pulled me closer still.

A feeling I never knew existed, settled in my abdomen, heat spreading through my body. I could not think of anything else, except for this Boy Wonder, who was trying to consume me body and soul. His soft lips traced a path down to my throat, suckling on a very sensitive spot.

I heard a noise and tried to pull away from Harry, the reality of being in the Library, catching up with me. Harry, however, had other ideas.

"Hermione, please, don't go. Stay." He was kissing the exposed skin just above my breast and I wondered how my buttons came undone. I saw Harry taking his wand and silently cast an invisibility shield around us. He suddenly looked up at me with very vulnerable eyes.

"Please, just for a little while"

Who am I to refuse The Chosen one? He really didn't need to ask twice. I was finally in the one place I longed to be, in his arms. For an answer, I stood up, pulling Harry with me. My arms locked around his neck as I pulled him closer to me, our lips meeting again.

After a mere few seconds of the sweetest kiss, all thoughts fled my mind as his hand settled on my breasts. He had somehow managed to open the remaining buttons of my shirt, which gave him the perfect access to my twins.

He was stroking and pinching through my red and black lace bra, one of my secret indulgences. I wanted so much more, but didn't know how to ask him for it. As if he was able to read my mind, he chose that moment to close his mouth over one nipple, sucking it into his mouth. I threw my head back, a keening sound coming from my lips, and I was so grateful for the shield around us.

His hands undid the clasp, and the twins jumped for joy at the freedom. My hands moved to cover them, they may be celebrating their freedom, but that did not mean that I was feeling comfortable standing in front of Harry, half-naked.

He took my hand away, "No, Hermione, they are perfect. Who knew you had such a beautiful body hidden behind all those clothes."

He then continued to thoroughly give attention to both of the twins while his hands were getting rid of the rest of my clothing.

Was I ready for this? Could I go all the way with Harry?


	6. Chapter 5

**Can this be real?**

**A/N:**Thx to all that follow this story. Please remember I do not own the characters, only this story plot. Thx to JKR for 10 wonderful years, reading and watching the wonderful Harry Potter! Sorry to those who wanted them to go further! LoL, not yet, it would be just to easy! Will not give to much away, but the next chapter will feature more about Hermione and Ron's relatoinship, before... sorry, you just have to wait till the next one!

**Chapter 5**

"Hello Harry, Hermione"

We both froze immediately. How on earth did Luna know that we were here? I know that the shield still covered us, the faint shimmering indicating that it was still active.

"I see Harry is also teaching you to wrestle, however Hermione, please be careful; the boys are a bit rough."

We both stared at each other, to surprise to even do anything. How did she know where we were? And what about all the wrestling talk?

Can she see us? I mouthed to Harry. He shrugged his shoulders, whispering back, don't know, but it is Luna after all.

Which brought us back to our immediate problem; I was lying under Harry with no clothes on, and if Luna could see though this shield, then she knew what we were doing, which was wrestling, according to her.

"I am sorry; are you invisible? You should then really eat more purple berries; they keep the Puroaches away you see. Daddy always says that Puroaches will show everyone your darkest secrets if you are not careful, but don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. After all, who will I tell?"

"Thank you Luna"

"Yes, thank you Luna"

"Harry Potter, Professor Dumbledore asked to see you immediately, but I can tell him you are just occupied at the moment, should you wish to finish teaching Hermione how to wrestle..."

I could see that Harry also tried to suppress his laughter.

"No Luna, that is alright. I really need to go and see Professor Dumbledore."

"Ok Harry. See you later Hermione" and Luna skipped away happily.

I let out a ragged breath.

"OMG"

Suddenly feeling embarrassed, I tied to get out from under Harry. He leaned in and kissed me, a sweet slow kiss, knocking my breath away again. Just when I was about to lose my head, he pulled away.

"I am really sorry, Hermione. I should never have let this get so out of control. I, however, do not regret anything. Can I see you later tonight? Meet me around midnight by the Astronomy Tower. We can talk then."

He kissed me again, looking deep into my eyes.

"I am sorry to leave you like this, I really am."

"Harry, go. I understand. Go, before somebody else finds us here" I tried to put some humor into it, hoping that Harry would understand.

"See you later, Hermione" and with a quick kiss, Harry left.

I wanted to cry, because I knew that we would not get another chance like today. I dragged myself to the common room, pasting a smile on my face. Only five hours till I will see him again, only five hours to pretend that my world was not busy falling apart.

It was a couple of hours later when Harry came rushing in, calling us to following him. Ron and I quickly followed him out of the portrait hole.

"Listen guys, I really do not have a lot of time. Dumbledore asked me to go with him; he thinks he has found anotherHorcrux. I still don't trust Malfoy, so please take some of this, give Ginny some as well. Watch Malfoy and Snape, but please be careful. I don't know how long we will be away."

He gave us his bottle of Felix Felicis, the good luck potion he won earlier from Professor Slughorn. I could see that a little was gone.

"Emm, yeah, I took a bit earlier today."

He looked at me and I blushed, remembering what happened earlier, all thanks to Felix it seems.

"Harry, should you not take the rest of this as well?"

I tried to keep the worry out of my voice, just showing my normal worried concern to not raise suspicion of my true fear.

"No, I will be fine. I will be with Dumbledore after all."

With a quick hug to both of us, he ran off towards the astronomy towers.

It took Ron and me several minutes staring at each other before we started towards the common room.

"Ron, take the potion and give Ginny and the rest of the gang each a few drops. We should split up and watch Snape andMalfoy in teams. Take the map and try to see where Malfoy is. Then I will go to the dungeon and look out for Snape"

I was in full command mode, getting a "battle plan" ready. Although I still had my doubts about Malfoy trying to kill the Headmaster, Harry believed it and I would do as he asked. How hard could it be to look out for two people in any case?

A few hours later, I swallowed my words. Pandemonium broke out. We could hear people fighting in the hallway's and shortly after that, Professor Snape came running out of his office, saying Professor Flitwick passed out and needed help.

O how silly of us to believe Snape. I really almost kicked myself later when I realized what happened. How did we not see that he was not even surprised to see us there? After helping Professor Flitwick, we ran towards the Towers and stumbled straight into some Death Eaters, coming from the Astronomy Tower, and I could see Snape and Malfoy running across the grounds. I then saw Harry running after them, but before I could follow, soemone shoved to the side, a curse missing me by inches.

Red, blue and green sparks were flying all over the place as curses were flung around. I heard Ron's gasp and saw him kneeling by his brother, Bill. Fenrir, it seems, had attacked him, leaving him bleeding on the floor. We took him to the Hospital Wing when we heard the commotion outside, Hagrid yelling at somebody. We quickly went outside and saw Professor Dumbledore lying on the grass, outside the Astronomy Towers, with a crying Harry holding him. I didn't understand at first, but it soon became very clear that Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, was dead.

Ginny walked up to Harry and wrapped her arms around him. He leaned into her and when she pulled him up, he did not hesitate, following her inside the castle, not even looking at me. I did feel the hurt, but warm, comforting arms went around me. Ron pulled me closer against his chest, and kissed the top on my head.

The gesture was so sweet, almost innocent, but I did realize something then. The emotions of a teenager cannot be understood. I loved Harry, that I knew, but with Ron I felt safe and comfortable. Perhaps Harry was right; perhaps I should give Ron a change after all.

I wrapped my arms tightly around him and I could swear I felt him smile.

We walked together to the hospital wing, to see Bill.

It was defiantly a night that I would not forget easily. The greatest wizard alive, died, Harry and I almost pushed the boundaries beyond our friendship and Ron and I, without saying a word, entered into a relationship of sorts.

My Life, without a doubt, would never be the same again.


	7. Chapter 6

Can this be real?

**CHAPTER 6**

**A\N**

**My only excuse is life. Life simply suddenly got too complicated and i needed a little breather. But let's get this back on track. It's a little short, but hey, it's a start.**

Standing in Ron's room, I look outside. Harry and the Weasley siblings are playing a game of Quidditch, and for those unknown to the recent events that played off, they most likely look like the average teenagers playing a silly game. Yes, after a grueling battle, Voldemort was killed by Harry, but the events left all of us with scars that will take a long time to heal. We all had to say goodbye to some of our loved ones, and some, like Harry, lost too many. Looking at the transition from the small, lost little boy he was, to the strong man he currently portray, I cannot help but wonder if it was worth it. Don't get me wrong, Harry is a wonderful young man; I however have a feeling that he is feeling very lost and still hurting from recent events, and he is still refusing to admit that anything is wrong.

Harry sometimes forgets that I know him almost better than he knows himself, and therefore I knew he was keeping secrets from us. After we returned from the Great Battle, he tried to go on as normal. He and Ginny started dating again, he even took her to Muggle London, he moved in to Grimmauld Place and even enrolled for his Auror training, but every night, he would disappear for hours until one day I followed him and I saw him sitting in the library, his secret hide away. I returned later and was shocked to see that he had put portraits of all the fallen heroes up against the wall of the library. I realized that Harry sat staring at all the pictures every night. It wouldn't have been such a bad thing, had the photos been of the magical nature, but Harry decided to put up Muggle photos. The faces of his parents, Cedric, Sirius, Lupin, Tonks, Snape, Fred and so many others, just kept staring at him, unmoving, and I am positive that to Harry, they were blaming him for their deaths. Harry had put spells up to hide the pictures from our eyes, but as I mentioned before, he did not take Hermione Granger into account. A few spells later and I knew exactly what he was hiding. Not just the pictures, but also his emotions, his current feeling of despair.

I kept his secret to myself, for the moment, but I noticed that recently he kept on disappearing more often. His relationship with Ginny also came to an end. Although, I must admit this against my will, Ginny had a positive effect on Harry, she just could not handle being in a relationship with him. They remain good friends; they were currently playing on one team against Ron and George. I know I will have to speak to Harry soon, but I'm afraid. Yes, Hermione Granger is afraid to be alone with her best friend Harry Potter!

It's been almost 2 years since we decided, no, since Harry decided, I would be better off with Ron, and not counting our hiding from death-eaters, our search for the Horcruxes or even the battle, the last couple of years with Ron had been fun, with fun being the operative word. Ron is still a big, and sometimes, spoilt child, just looking for the next adventure. We have been fighting a lot recently, and unbeknown to all, we actually broke our relationship off over two weeks ago. Ron begged me to keep it quiet for awhile, arguing that his parents would be heart broken, and after the death of Fred, they only recently started laughing again. I love the Weasley's like my own family, and agreed to keep up the pretence. However, keeping secrets from Harry is killing me. I am not good at lying and we promised each other to always be honest. I know he has his own secrets, and I may be smiling on the outside, but on the inside, I fear I may be slowly breaking.


	8. Chapter 7

Can this be real?

**CHAPTER 7**

**A\N**

**This one is a bit longer. But two upload on one day is not bad.**

The tell tale signs of Harry walking down to the library alerted me of what I need to do. After last night, I made up my mind to confront Harry. This has gotten out of hand. Last night he only went to bed after 3am, making his "visit" a record of 5 hours.

I cast a concealing charm and follow him softly. I know it may seem almost too easy, but Harry is not aware of anyone knowing about his visits so I know he will be somewhat relaxed, only concentrating on not making a noise himself.

I ease into the library behind him, before he can close the door with his spell. This will be the first time I am here with him, able to see what he gets up to. He pulls his chair until it is in front of the gallery of portraits.

"Good evening friends"

It is silent for a few minutes, as if he is waiting for their greetings.

"What? No greeting? No good evening? Not even how was your day? Oh yeah! That's right!"

He jumps up from his chair.

"How can you? You are DEAD! I killed each an every one of you! Now I have to face the consequences alone"

I knew it must have been something like this, but to hear him say it out aloud makes it so much more real. The guilt has been eating him up and I cannot stand it anymore.

"You are not alone Harry"

He jumps at the sound of my voice, casting an Expelliarmus charm, which have me flying through the air, knocking me against the wall.

"O Merlin Hermione! Where are you?"

He cast a revealing charm and I can see when he notices me on the floor, his face drained of all color.

"Hermione! Are you alright?"

His hands run quickly over my body, looking for any injuries. I swat his hands away, taking a few deep breaths.

"Harry, I'm fine. I have been through worst, trust me"

He helps me up, and takes a few steps away from me.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing here? Are you spying on me?"

I practiced this speech a few times yesterday but looking at the angry scowl on his face, make me rethink my approach.

"Yes, Harry, I am spying on you. I have been worried about you."

It really does not sum up my feelings but for now, it's a start.

Letting out a loud sigh, he flopped back into his chair.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you worried about me?"

For a brief moment he reminded me of the old Harry, the Harry Potter I first met, scared and alone. I kneel in front of him, taking his hands in mine.

"Harry, you are my best friend, of course I worry about you. You have been holed u here night after night and I can see what its doing to you."

A look of wonder came over his face before he blanked his face out again, making it void of all feeling.

"You can?"

"You have been trying to hide it for so long, that you do not notice us anymore. You live an empty life, a life full of lies, and it's killing me Harry."

He lean forward and rest his face against mine. We stay like that a long time before he speaks again.

"I don't know what to do anymore. They won't leave me alone. If I close my eyes, they there with accusing eyes, if I open my eyes, I see all of you filled with so much sadness that it is killing me."

"Harry, no one blames you. You killed Voldemort; you are a hero in the eyes of the wizard world. You're hole life was spent trying to help others, now it is time for them to repay the favor. Let me help you"

I do the only thing I can think of in this situation, I climb onto his lap, pulling him against me.

"Harry, do you honestly think that your Mom and Dad, Remus, Tonks or even Fred want you to blame yourself? They all died in what they believed in Harry, they died fighting for the greater good. Let me ask you this. Why did you put Muggle portraits up instead of the normal wizard portraits?"

"Because, even though I want to be reminded of all those brave people, I cannot handle the accusing stares that I know I will get. It will break one of the last pieces of my heart."

"Go to bed Harry, have a good nights sleep and tomorrow we start working on getting you out of this ditch you got yourself into."

I pull him out of the chair and lead him out of the library, hoping to get him away from the morbid feeling that surrounds portraits. Harry, however, stop me just outside the door.

"You go on up Hermione, I cannot sleep in any case, but I promise that I will let you try and help me. I am tired of feeling like this."

I should have realized the problem in my suggestion, but being me, I just wanted to help my friend.

"Come on Harry, I will stay with you till you fall asleep."

I waited till he made himself comfortable before lying down next to him, face to face. We talked about his training, my current projects, and even about Ron and my relationship. I did not tell him that we are no longer together, this is about Harry, and I know that once he finds out, he will try and fix it, pushing his own emotional state to the background, and that cannot happen. Harry needs to get better.

Somehow we drifted off to sleep, because when I woke up, I was draped across Harry, snug as a bunny, and it was the most relaxed I have felt in recent weeks. With my head on his chest, I listen to his steady breathing, and the feel of his arms around me. His one hand is resting on my behind, cradling it in his palm. Feeling an itch, I try to move but somehow Harry also moved and I ended up between his legs, with an exited member poking me from below. Looking up, I see his green eyes looking down at me, smiling slightly. Oh boy, what now?


	9. Chapter 8

Can this be real?

**CHAPTER 8**

**A\N**

**Firstly – Thank you so much to all the favorites and reviews!**

**I really appreciate it all, just having someone read this is already a huge bonus to me, having someone comment, so much better!**

**The next chapter or so will be mostly about Harry and his depression, but hopefully it's not all bad! **

The wheels are turning in my head. I smile, looking up at Hermione, but cannot help the thoughts running through my head.

Who am I kidding? She will never want a messed-up man like me. Yeah, I can see the faint blush on her cheeks, the shortness of her breath as she stares down at me, but I know she is thinking of Ron. He is Perfect Ron, who can do no harm, who does not go around killing people.

The smile disappears from my face, reality checking in, and I gently push her to the side. Dragging myself out of bed, I grab my shirt and disappear out the door, not looking back.

I go to my hiding place that up until last night, I thought to be a secret. How could I have been so careless? No wonder all those people died! I am still an immature, self-centered idiot!

I kick the chair out of my way, jerking my foot back when the pain reaches my brain. Trying to be normal will be extra difficult today. She knows now, my biggest secret, kept from her all this time. I could not control myself enough and I know she noticed when Mr. poked her in the stomach. How do I explain to her that I am still in love with her? That it kills me to see her with Ron, that the real reason Ginny and myself broke up, was due to the fact that I called her Hermione one to many times.

Sitting here night after night, looking at the portraits, cursing myself for not saving them, I also curse myself for lusting after my best friend. How does Hermione think she can help me? She is probably the worst person to try and help me get out of this …, whatever I am currently experiencing.

"Harry?"

Of course, she can never leave well enough alone.

"What?" It came out harsher than I wanted.

"Can I sit here for a moment?"

Okay, I did not expect that.

"Yeah, sure"

She sit down in the chair opposite me, her hand folded in her lap and for some strange reason, it irritated me. Hermione can be so….. perfect sometimes, its maddening.

We sit in silence for a few minutes. I can feel Hermione looking straight at me while I am looking straight at the portraits. Normally I do not come in here during the day, but circumstances forced my hand.

"Harry, can I ask you something?"

I contemplated this question. Is she going to start asking questions about what happened upstairs? Be a man Harry, I scolded myself.

I look at her, not saying a thing.

"How do you feel right at this moment?"

"I'm sorry… but huh?"

"Why did you come down here?"

"I just needed to get away"

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" I can almost hear the sigh Hermione gives.

"Harry, why did you run away this morning and come to the one place that causes you so much hurt?"

Oh. Because it hurt to much to stay there with you. But of course I did not say that out aloud.

"Because where else can I go?"

"Fair enough, but you still did not tell me how you are feeling at this moment. Remember Harry, I promised to help you, and I stand by what I said. I will not tell anyone about this"

"Pinky Promise?"

I mentally slap myself. Really Harry, are you five?

Hermione gives one sincere smile, stands up and walk over to me, extending her pinky.

"Yes, pinky promise"

Sparks are flying when our pinky's touch. Okay, so perhaps that only happened in my mind, but still.

"Embarrassed, scared, irritated, hateful"

Please don't show me sympathy, please don't. But I feared for nothing.

"Why would you feel embarrassed?"

Out of all those, she chose that?

I feel myself blush, my earlier feelings of despair momentarily forgotten under a cloud of even more embarrassment.

"Umm, isn't that obvious?"

She shakes her head and I look at her in surprise.

"Hermione, you woke up to a very embarrassing thing this morning. Granted, very normal, but it is very embarrassing none the less to have your friend wake up to your member poking her awake."

"Don't be silly Harry. I understood completely. You most likely were dreaming about Ginny, and therefore had no control over your…ummm, member doing what is so natural to a man."

"Ginny? You think I was thinking or dreaming about Ginny Weasley?"

"Sure, it's only natural to come to that conclusion"

"No, Hermione. It was not embarrassing for me to wake up in that state, but it was embarrassing for me, because at that moment when I opened my eyes, I woke up to the reason for my morning standing ovation."

Looking her straight in the eye, I swallowed my pride.

"I had a wonderful, lust filled dream about my best friend, Hermione, and that friend is you."

"Oh dear"

**A/N: Sorry for the short stop, just have to keep you waiting a bit longer. The rest of the story will remain in Hermione's POV, I am not a big fan of chancing it every other chapter. **

**A sneak peak for what's up next?**

**Harry and Hermione get a lot closer, trying to get Harry to accept that nothing can change the past. The truth also comes out about Hermione's current relationship status.**


	10. Chapter 9

Can this be real?

**CHAPTER 9**

**A\N**

**Firstly – Thank you so much to all the favorites and reviews!**

**I really appreciate it all, just having someone read this is already a huge bonus to me, having someone comment, so much better!**

Did Harry just say what I think he did? I can feel my heartbeat accelerate and my face heating up. Is it really possible that Harry can still have feelings for me?

I take a deep breath and look him in the eyes, searching for the truth, but to my horror, I really only see hurt and perhaps a little embarrassment, which can only mean that he is confused, and can I blame him? His is in a critical stage in his life and he does not need my feelings to confuse him more.

"Harry, I don't know what to say"

Harry stands up and walks over to the windows, his back to me.

"I know Hermione, and I am sorry for causing you embarrassment. It's just… you're my best friend and I cannot go on, no, I cannot try to even get better if I am not being honest about my feelings. I fell in love with this amazing girl a few years back, but due to circumstances, we did not take it further. But everyday when I am in your company, I get reminded of what I have lost, seeing you and Ron together, it hurts. It's my own fault, I know, what I just wanted to tell you the truth, to clear the air"

If possible, I think my heart just jumped out of my chest. Can Harry really still be in love with me? I walk over to him, contemplating what to say. Harry is a mess, but can I let this just go, without making sure? Then I do the only thing I can, I wrap my arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Harry, I need to tell you something about Ron and me"

Harry slowly turns, my arms falling away, but Harry pulls me in his arms instead, resting his chin on the top of my head.

"No, Hermione, really, I do not need to know about your personal relationship, in fact, I insist, I REALLY do not want to know"

I am sure I can almost feel him pull a face and I smack him against the back of his head.

"Yeesh, Harry, not about that! That is personal and frankly, it's not even worth discussing that you. It's just that ….. "

What if Ron gets upset with me for telling Harry? What if Harry gets upset because we lied to him? Oh bother! Why is life so complicated sometimes?

Harry steps away from me, but I quickly step back into his arms, my face pressed against his chest. I silently inhale his wonderful male smell, so uniquely Harry.

""

"What!"

Did he really understand what I just mumbled?

"Umm, Ron and I have just been pretending to be a couple for this last month or so?" It came out sounding more like a question than a statement.

I sneak a peak at Harry's face. Oh boy, I wish I didn't. SO many emotions ran across his face, his mouth gaping open like a fish, trying to utter words that did not come out. I cannot tell if he is upset or not!

"Harry, say something"

When nothing happens, I take his face in my hands, looking in his eyes, trying to focus his eyes on me. I really need to know if we will be okay.

We stand like that for a few more moments, Harry staring into my eyes when he suddenly kisses me. His lips were barely touching mine, but it feels like electricity running through my veins. I increase my hold on him, opening up for him. It has been too long, but it finally feels like I am home. Harry pulls me even tighter against him as his sweet, wonderful and very talented tongue drove me crazy, his hands running all over me. In a movement so quick, I barely noticed, Harry had me pushed against the wall, my legs wrapped around his waist. My head automatically falls to the side as he moves to my neck, gently nibbling, sending chills down my body. He pushes against my core, and I feel the tightening in my belly. Another push and he suddenly stops, leaning his head against mine, both us breathing heavily.

"What's wrong?" I did not have a good snogging session in a while, but I am sure that I did not do anything bad to cause him to stop.

"Nothing, but also everything! You made me loose control, forgetting everything around me."

"But that is a good thing isn't it?"

He smiles at me, kissing me softly.

"It should be, but I'm a mess. I cannot forget what happened to these people, our friends and family."

We sit down on the sofa, and I take his hands in mine.

"Harry, we said we will work through this, and we will, but it will take time. You are right however; we need to focus on getting you better first."

I quickly went over my Psychology lessons in my head, realizing that my degree will actually come in handy. I never intended to become a psychologist, but took the course in order to help me to understand the minds of the Witches and Wizards.

Firstly, Harry is definitely suffering from depression and a loss of his self esteem from what I can gather. I will need to find out more.

"In order for me to try and understand completely, I need to find out about your feelings, what happens when you get to a low point in life? But please, you have to be honest with me, if we cannot be honest with each other, it will not work"

I can see that this will be difficult for Harry. He is hiding something from me; something that he thinks will change my opinion of him. His face is like an open book to me now, once I had let go of my own self conceived notions, that is.

"What is it Harry? I know you are scared, but you know you can trust me?

"Can I? Can I really trust you? You did not even tell me about you and Ron."

"I know, and I apologize. Ron and I was not good relationship material, more like two friends trying very hard to be more. Ron just feels that his parents are not ready for another disappointment in their lives, and you distanced yourself lately, so I just assumed that it was better not to tell you as well, and I was wrong. You are my best friend Harry, and I should have trusted you above all."

During my little rant, I gripped his hand tightly, afraid he was going to let go. After my speech, he pulls his hand away and my heart drops, just to soar again as he cups my face.

"I also have to apologize, Hermione. I should have seen what was going on, but I was so involved in my own self pity, that I really did not give a lot of thought to you or Ron. But, Hermione, I cannot forgive you, for there is nothing to forgive. I understand why you are keeping it a secrect, forgive me for being so melodramatic earlier. I just have trouble controlling my emotions. One moment I am so happy and content, and the next I can be so angry or hurt, or scared or even unsure whom to trust, that I just snap."

He kisses me again but before I can relax, he pulls away.

"About a month ago, I was convinced that my life was worthless. I often feel like that, but that day was worse than ant other day. I feel ashamed of it now, but it is not something I can control completely. That day, I was sitting here, I could hear everyone in the kitchen, laughing at something, but all I could see was a black hole. Nothing seemed to have mattered; I couldn't get myself to care enough. I remember thinking that you are not even missing me; that my life was expendable, that you would not miss me, and I did the only thing that my mind could think of at that time."

I felt uneasy. This could not be good. I remember a study session I attended about depression once, and I am praying that he will not tell me what I think he is going to tell me. Because that will mean that he is far worse than I originally thought.

"I performed the Sectumsempra on myself."

**A/N: Don't hate me. But Harry is suffering from Clinical Depression, when left untreated, can lead to suicide or attempted suicide. My mother is suffering from chronic depression but is under medication, if she does not take her medication, she becomes very irrational, sometimes not even remembering what she did or say. Under severe stressful conditions, she becomes very depressed, even with her medication. Depression is still one of the most understood conditions, but it is very real, believe me.**


	11. Chapter 10

Can this be real?

**CHAPTER 9**

**A\N**

**Firstly – Thank you so much to all the favorites and reviews!**

**I really appreciate it all, just having someone read this is already a huge bonus to me, having someone comment, so much better!**

**I am sure I do not have to remind everyone – but HP and the characters so not belong to me, only the plot to this story, and yes, they can act a little ooc, but this is fiction!**

I replayed his words over and over in my mind over the next few days.

"I performed the Sectumsempra on myself."

We sat in silence after his admission, Harry with his head dropped, and me sitting like a statue. I expected something like that, an attempted suicide, but to perform the Sectumsempra? Knowing what it did to Malfoy?

Harry explained that he was on the floor, pain all over his body, but he could not even shout for help. Blood was all over the floor, but for a brief moment, he felt at peace, knowing he was finally going to end his suffering. But then he started to feel the pain, real pain, and he regretted his actions. He knew he was in trouble, but taking one's own life is not the solution, that you cannot run away from your problems. At that stage he tried to call for help, but he was too weak. The pain started fading and he lost consciousness, and when he awoke, he was healed from all injuries. He was still on the floor but the blood was gone. For a moment he thought he had a bad nightmare, but his clothes were still torn and the event left scars over his body, testament that he really did do something foolish.

We spoke some more, and Harry also admitted that although he got scared that night, it was not enough to get himself together. He started to wonder who healed him, what did he do to deserve to be saved. It only added a new sort of torment for Harry.

After reviewing my notes on the situation, I finally came up with a plan that could hopefully help Harry get on the path to recovery.

Harry need to accept the events; accept his part in saving the wizarding world, the death of heroes and his survival. He needs to understand that his life does indeed have a purpose, that he is loved and respected by all his friends.

Step one is to find out what happened in that study that night. How did Harry survive the curse?

I did some research in the library when Harry was not using it, not wanting him to find out what I am planning, just in case it does not work. During the last few days we acted as normal, and during the night we talked about his feelings. It was not easy for Harry to express his emotions, but it was getting easier. The highlight of each session is not only knowing that Harry is slightly improving, realizing that to talk about his feelings instead of bottling everything up is half the battle, but is the kiss at the end. Each night Harry would take my face in his hands and place a soft kiss on my lips, his lips lingering a mere few seconds, but the feeling lasting forever.

I am going to start with my plan tonight. Ron managed to drag Harry out for a man's night out and I have the library to myself for a few hours at least.

I make sure that the door is firmly lock, putting a silencing charm on the room just in case. The spell was a bit unclear what will happen, but just in the event that it is noisy, it is better safe than sorry.

"Revelio Secreta"

Reveal your hidden secrets, so basic, so essentially easy that this spell has not been used in thousands of years, and for good measure,

"Specialis Revelio"

Immediately the room was filled with blue, red and green lights, swirling through the room. After a minute or two everything was eerily quiet and I could not see anything different. I scanned the room a couple of times; looking for anything amiss and only after my third scan did I notice it. Remus Lupin's eye moved!

I ran across the room, standing in front of his portrait. He did not moved, nothing! I leaned closer, pressing my face closer, trying to see something.

"BOOO!"

I fell backwards, my heart jumping out of my chest, all the while hearing laughter all around me. The portraits were alive!

"Remus Lupin! That was not funny!"

"Come on Hermione, you know it was!"

"Yeah, perhaps just a bit. But first explain how this is possible? This is not a wizard portrait, you should not be moving"

"Really, no wonder we cannot move from here. Sirius here next to me, has been driving me mad"

"So?"

I am getting impatient. As nice as it is to hear their voice again, I had a time limit.

"Oi, missy! Treat the dead with a little more respect, why don't yah"

I just threw Fred one of my evil glares.

"Shut it, Fred! I have a little bit of a time issue here guys, so a little bit of information will be greatly appreciated."

"Well, Miss Granger, we are not entirely sure ourselves how this happened. First thing I remember is Mr Potter on the floor, screaming his head off like a little girl"

"Now, Severus, you know that is a lie"

"Harry did not even open his mouth Snape"

"Boys! Enough of that. Please go on Professor Snape"

"As I was saying, Mr Potter was on the floor, stupidly casting a Sectumsempra again, this time on himself! Even though I knew it would be futile, I tired to cast the healing spells, but of course it did not help."

"That is until we all stepped up and helped old Snape here. We all cast the spell and that's that"

How did this happen? Harry being healed, the portraits coming alive, it all does not add up.

I look around Professor Dumbledore, but his portrait is as unmoving as before.

"What is wrong with Professor Dumbledore?"

"No one knows. He did not come alive with the rest of us."

Mmm, perhaps Dumbledore performed some last magic? It doesn't make sense, but there is no other explanation at this stage. Surely a powerful wizard such as himself, should have come alive with the rest of them?

"Hermione"

I turn slowly to the source, Harry's mom.

"Yes Mrs Potter?"

"Please call me Lily. How is Harry really doing? For the last few weeks I had to watch my son suffering, and I could not do anything"

I suddenly realized that they most likely saw Harry and myself here night after night!

"No use trying to act all innocent now! We all know what a naughty girl you really are!"

"Fred!"

Lily and I shouted at the same time.

"Just saying"

"He is doing better, Lily, but I do not understand why you did not tell him yourself? He has been beating himself up night after night, blaming himself for all of your deaths! At least you could have eased his mind!"

"We tried so many times, but for some reason, every time we tried to talk to Harry, we froze up, literally, only being able to move when he was not looking, and even then, no sound."

"Maybe your spell removed whatever block was on us?"

I let out a sigh, things really was never easy.

"Perhaps, but I am not sure. What we have to figure out now is how to help Harry"

We sat for the next hour, deciding what the best method will be to tell Harry that they are awake in their portraits.

"Hermione?"

Harry was standing in the doorway, sporting a stupid grin on his face. He tried to walk forward but he failed miserably, being to drunk to support himself. I rush towards him, helping him to the sofa.

"Harry, what were you thinking! Were Ron?"

"Don knuww, don caaarreee" a drunk Harry was really not a pretty site.

"Drinking is never the solution Harry; I should know that better than anyone" Hearing Sirius voice, Harry's head turned to the portraits.

"I'm sooooo drunk, even Sirius is talking to me 'Mione! Sirius. Haha, He's dead but talking to me!" and just like that, the famous Harry Potter passed out, drunk.


	12. Chapter 11

Can this be real?

**CHAPTER 11**

**A\N**

**Firstly – Thank you so much to all the favorites and reviews!**

**I really appreciate it all, just having someone read this is already a huge bonus to me, having someone comment, so much better!**

**I am sure I do not have to remind everyone – but HP and the characters so not belong to me, only the plot to this story, and yes, they can act a little OOC, but this is fiction!**

I shift in the chair I am currently occupying next to Harry's bed. This chair must be one of the most uncomfortable chairs in the world!

I decided to keep watch over Harry, who I had to levitate to his bed. The one other time Harry was so drunk that he passed out was not a pleasant memory and something that I want to keep from happening again.

I hear him start to stir and wait for him to fully wake up.

"Drink up Harry"

I push the potion in his hand, forcing him to drink it all. The Hangover potion tasted horrible, but it have an immediate effect, clearing any fogginess and nauseous feeling you may still have. The muggle's will make a fortune if they find the recipe.

"Mornin 'Mione. What exactly happened last night?"

"Good Morning Harry. Should I not be the one to ask you that question? What do you remember?"

He looks a bit embarrassed. Mmm, I wonder what happened last night with Ron.

"Umm, well, I let slip to Ron that I knew that you were not together anymore so he thought it the ideal time to, umm, celebrate? He started to order Fire whiskey's for us and I think after about the fifth drink, things started to get a bit fuzzy. I think at some stage, I managed to walk home. But I think that maybe the rest was just my imagination, 'cause I think I heard Sirius talking to me last night. I must have been wasted!"

Should I really tell him now? Let me play dumb for a while. No need to rush this any more than necessary.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah, I know it's mental, right. But I thought I saw you in the library and then I heard Sirius saying something about drinking but I think I passed out at that stage."

"You were really wasted last night Harry. Let's go to the library now and you can tell me again what you heard."

I am actually a coward. I am going to leave it to them to tell Harry, just in case they cannot talk to him again and I look the fool for saying the were alive.

I enter the library before Harry and quickly look towards the portraits, seeing Fred winking at me. Scowling at him silently, I turn towards Harry.

"So Harry, tell me what you think you heard"

Harry walk towards the door, stopping and turning around just before it.

"I was standing around here, and Sirius was saying…"

"Drinking does not solve your problems"

"That's right Sirius! That is what you… SIRIUS!"

Harry spun around the room, looking for Sirius. I had to stop myself from laughing as Harry resembled a dog chasing its own tail.

"What? Where? Sirius…'Mione…Sirius…u heard, right?"

"Calm down Harry. Look at me"

It took a minute or so for Harry to look at me, his chest heaving from excitement.

"Harry, Sirius did not come back from the veil.."

"But I heard him Hermione"

"As I was saying, he did not come back from the veil, but he is in the room, with a few friends"

"Where are they?"

"Turn around"

I knew the moment he realized where Sirius was. His knees buckled and he fell to the ground, tears streaming down his face, his hand touching the portrait carefully.

"Mom! Dad! You are here"

"Harry! Please don't cry!"

"I can't believe you are here! What about Sirius? Remus? Fred? Tonks? Snape?..."

As he says each name, he touches a portrait, making sure they are indeed awake in the portraits. By the last portrait he stops.

"Professor?"

"I'm sorry son, we don't know what brought us alive, but Albus did not wake with us"

"I don't understand? How is this even possible?"

"The only explanation we came up with, thanks to Hermione here, is that somehow Professor Dumbledore managed a last bit of magic. Since the night…"

His mom had tears pouring out of her eyes and did not continue. Obviously Harry will not let this go

"Since….?"

"Since the night you tried to kill yourself Mr Potter" Even though we all know that Snape had a soft spot for Harry, years of snide comments cannot be stop.

"Severus"

"I apologize, Lily. Since the night we saved you from an unfortunate accident HARRY"

"You, um, you saw that?"

"Saw it and save your sorry little a…"

"Fred!"

"Mr Weasley!"

All the portraits almost simultaneously shouted, making poor Fred turn red.

I saw Harry drop his head. This is probably the one thing he never wanted anyone to witness. I drop down next to him, pulling him into a hug.

"Harry, please look at me" Lily said from her portrait.

"Harry, although I cannot say I am happy with what happened that night, I do understand some of your reasoning behind it. Harry, you have to believe that all that has happened was not because of you, but because of an evil twisted man that believed a silly prophesy that just happened to come true. The chances of it happening were 50/50 but it happened because he believed it to be true. The events that happened were unfortunate, but necessary for the greater good. I think I speak for everyone here when I say that we would not change a thing."

"Harry, we all love you"

The tears were running down my face as everyone speaks to Harry, ensuring him that he really does not need to feel guilty. The love for Harry it seems, was so strong, it brought a different kind of magic to 12 Grimmauld Place, the magic of love and healing. Purple streams started floating around the room, circling around Harry before entering his body to his heart.

"I think the first step has been successful, Professor Snape. "

**A/N:**

Just a note to some of you who have reviewed! Thank you! Thank You!

Your feedback and comments are really appreciated.

I will address the Hermione / Ron Relationship in the next chapter again.

All I can say is YEAH – we have along weekend, so no work for 5 days! I stopped this chapter sort because I really wanted to upload this week.


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